I’ve never been more happy to be a vegetarian than when I heard about the California beef recall, the biggest beef recall in United States history. As I’ve said previously, I didn’t become a vegetarian for animal rights reason, but the more I research, the more I discover what atrocities I’ve unknowingly been a part of. I really appreciate the people who see these things first hand and bring them to the attention of the public. The Humane Society video made my stomach churn. Who could do that to another living creature?

I might have taken advantage of this recent situation a little, though. Who knew I could be a manipulative vegetarian? One of my co-workers had a cup from In-N-Out Burger, one of the fast food chains that had been a distributor of the possibly tainted beef, and I proceeded to inform her of what she might have just ingested. Needless to say, she freaked out, despite the fact that most of the meat has already been eaten by schoolchildren.

Do we even think about what we’re eating anymore? Apparently, a fourth of Americans eat fast food everyday, and most working Americans eat their lunch in 15 to 30 minutes instead of their full hour lunch break. So we’re shoveling unknown substances down our throats, and then it’s time to get back to work? That sounds healthy. Next time let’s change out the water cooler for arsenic and see if anyone notices.

I’m personally obsessed with Trader Joe’s vegan chocolate chip cookies. They are probably the BEST cookies I’ve ever eaten, and I’ve been forcing my friends to try them whenever they come to my apartment. Their first question always is, “Well if they’re vegan, what’s in them?” That’s when I bring up my favorite thing about veganism: 99 percent of the time when I look at the back of any vegan package, the ingredients list is in plain English. I don’t need to hire someone with a Ph.D. to explain to me what it is I’m putting in my mouth. Can you say that about your Big Mac?